Boundaries

It's my word for this new year. Boundaries.

Because...

Yep. 

I am a giver, a fixer, a doer, a holder-upper. To certain people in my life more than others.

And I'm good at getting walked on. Especially by those certain people. Um humm... Like all over.

But that's my doing too, and I accept that. In a weirdly passive way I can derive comfort from knowing I am needed. And I can take solice in knowing I am a helper-sort. And in a push-it-under-the-cushion way, I relish knowing that I can make things happen for them, to get things done.

But it is finally time to stop it.

Rather, it is finally time to embrace what I am doing, and own it. Be better about being manipulative and covert. Really, it's about approaching life honestly and looking it straight in the eye. Or heart. It is taking responsibility for my own stuff. And saying no to what is not mine to own. It is not feeling abandoned by myself if I stop manipulating, or threatening. About letting go of the need to manipulate or threaten. About forging through old thinking patterns and trying to do things a whole new way. About staying awake and alive to my own needs. To be disciplined with myself. To ask for support when I need it. To allow others to rely on me without expecting payback. To give more, from my heart, when I know it is right, and true.

To give more. In a limited, little bit selfish way.

And to NOT give, when it's necessary to hold back. That's going to be hard for me.

But this is what I am going to try for.

It's all I can ask of myself. Just try a bit of this each day.

Pretty soon, I'm sure it's going to stick like glue.

Then I will be a boundary whiz.

:o)